


We Almost Made It

by lindsey_thole



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Alcoholic Dad, Car Accidents, Depression, Emo, F/M, High School, Original Character Death(s), Relationship(s), Sad, Suicide, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsey_thole/pseuds/lindsey_thole





	

I stare out my foggy window, at the clear raindrops that decorate the glass with small beads of water. I sit expressionless on the edge of the windowsill with my knees pulled against my chest. Rarely do I ever have feeling for anything anymore. Depression has swallowed my life and nothing remains; I feel empty. Therapy is boring and doesn't help. Pills don't seem to make a difference. Nothing helps, so my mother and I have basically given up. Though I guess there is one effective antidepressant. And her name is Sarah.

  
I first met Sarah in Language Arts class in the middle of junior year. She moved here from Minnesota because her dad was offered a new job opportunity. When I first saw her I was struck by her beauty. Her strawberry blonde curls that gently unraveled just past her shoulders. Her naturally rosy cheeks that complimented her sweet and innocent smile. Our personalities displayed such contrast for she was so full of life. Whereas I was (and still continue to be) just a depressed 17 year old who still can't handle social interaction. I guess her will to live hadn't burnt out quite yet.

  
Sarah and I have become best friends and I honestly haven't the slightest idea why. Maybe she felt bad for me, maybe she thought I seemed cool. (Alright, probably not the second one but hey, a guy can dream) Nonetheless, all that matters is that she's my friend. I couldn't ask for anything more. Well, I wish she loved me back but no one would ever want me.

  
I sort of feel guilty in a way, because she could've easily fit in with Maddie and the rest of the clones. Yet she chose me. Why she chose me remains a mystery. She still has her perfect blonde locks, but her style is much different from last year. She's more introverted and doesn't participate in many activities besides reading and drawing. Despite her angelic features, the best part is that she never tries to be anyone but herself. She's got a brilliant mind of her own and no one is going to change it. And I love that.

  
My phone buzzes which makes me flinch which causes me to hit my forehead on the window. My head leaves a large facial oil blotch on the previously spotless window. While rubbing my head, I debate whether or not to check it.

  
After a few seconds of pondering, I decided to check it. To my disappointment, I only see a text from my mother reading, "I'll be home soon." I don't text back and then rest my head back on the window. It buzzes again. This time I don't flinch. I peer at it with disinterest without even turning my head. I see a box with Sarah's name at the top with the word 'hey' in the box. I clumsily scatter for my phone and text 'hi' back to her promptly. She asks me if I want anything from the nearby coffee place. I tell her no thanks. She tells me to unlock the door in about 5 minutes. 

After about 5 minutes, I pull myself up off the windowsill which results in multiple cracks and pops, I must have sat there longer than I realized. As soon as I open the front door, she's practically already stepped in. She's in a particularly good mood which is nice. She and takes off her boots and her light blue trench coat. She's beautiful as ever and sometimes it almost convinces me that she's not broken inside, but not quite. You can see it in her eyes if you stare long enough. Mine too, she says. However, it is a lot easier to see that I'm in pain than her, which should be expected I guess.

"Hey Luke, I got you extra whipped cream because I'm in a particularly good mood for no apparent reason." She held told me as she held out her hand.

"I told you I didn't want anything but thanks I guess." I said a little more harshly than I intended.

"Are you okay?"

"Never better," I sighed.

She sensed the sarcasm as soon as I spat the words out of my whipped cream coated lips.

She giddily walked up the stairs I assume in hope that if she provided an enjoyable environment I'd cheer up, but I didn't. I followed her up the stairs and into the kitchen. I quickly glanced at the knives on the granite counter top, and then at my wrist. An then I briefly took a look at Sarah, however I wasn't fast enough. She stood ten feet away and stared at the knives neatly put away in their wooden block, and then stared back at be with a saddened countenance. 

"What do you need?" she asked me. 

I raised my head and looked at her with a broken expression and she knew exactly what I needed. She set her coffee down on the glass coaster and started towards me. I walked the remaining distance towards her and our bodies pressed against one another as we stood hugging. She buried her soft face into in the crease of my shoulder as I leaned my head on her's. A spot of her hair absorbed the tear than streamed down my cheek. I clenched my jaw to conceal the fact that I was crying. I thought it'd be better if she didn't know. 

I love her. I love her with every ounce of my pathetic body. I may have a habit of not really having any emotion at all anymore but I do know that I love her. I would do anything for Sarah and it feels real. Not just some meaningless month long crush high schoolers have and then they have sex and they break up and then it's nothing. I genuinely love her and I'd do anything to keep her safe. There's just one issue, I haven't exactly told her yet.

  
I sipped from my what is basically a chocolate milkshake and I realized that my mom should be home any minute now. I pulled my phone from pocket and to my surprise, my mother hadn’t messaged me yet. I didn’t worry about it too much though.

In the meantime Sarah and I talked about our common interests like music for instance; just casual talk. It may not be the most attention grabbing conversation but as long as I got to talk to her I was happy. It’s weird, like I can be in the worst of moods and just one text or phone call from just her, and I was completely distracted from reality and all my focus was on her and only her.

About 15 minutes later, I received a phone call. I expected to hear my mother's voice in my ear but rather I was greeted by the firm and many voice of a police officer. He told me in a steady voice everything that happened and I rushed to the hospital as soon as I heard the news. Sarah drove home so I could be alone with my mom for whatever time she had left.

I walked over to her bedside and sat down in one of those old upholstery hospital chairs and covered my mouth with my hands. This time clenching my jaw wasn’t going to stop the approaching rush of tears. I let it all out on her bed holding her cold but soft hand. I tried not to look at her face too much for it was beaten and mangled. I heard a couple of nurses outside talking about my mom.

“It was bad, there was no chance of saving her.” The other listened to her explain what happened.

“When our paramedics arrived they found her car smashed by an oncoming semi, she had no chance,” she shook her head. “She would've needed a miracle to keep her alive.”

The second nurse looked through the room window at us. Her eyebrows slanted and she frowned with pity and sorrow. She turned back towards the other nurse.

“What about the boy?”

“He has a dad, but we don't know too much about him."

I flinched when I heard them say 'dad'. I couldn't bear to think about having to live with that man alone now. I wanted so bad to tell them what he does to me but I'm scared. God knows what he'd do to me if he found out I confronted him to someone. So I kept my mouth shut. Sarah has tried to come over when he's home and I'm running out of excuses to try to keep her away. I've promised myself to never let her get hurt and I intend to keep it. 

I keep expecting my mom to wake up. I know it's silly to think that it could happen when I know it can't. What if I texted back? I should have texted back, I would have gotten to say something to her before it was too late. Why me? Why did the world hate me? She didn't deserve this and I needed her so much and now she's gone. If someone had to be smashed by a truck, couldn't have been someone who could deal with it better? Someone who wasn't so suicidal and insecure, someone who could cope with this easier, someone who's dad wasn't a pathetic, abusive asshole. 


End file.
